Recently I announced that my husband and I are expecting our first child. I shared this news on my blog here if you haven't read it. In that post, I promised that I would write a follow-up post explaining why I didn't wait longer to announce it. So, here it is!
I am currently 5 and a half weeks pregnant. My baby is only the size of a chocolate chip at the moment and doesn't have a heartbeat yet. I am right in the middle of the risky weeks of pregnancy, where a lot of women will miscarry their child. Because of this possibility, many women will wait until they are out of their first trimester before they will announce their pregnancy to the world.
Please hear me, I am not saying that it is wrong to wait that long. If you have decided to wait until you are past the risky weeks, I support you in your decision! This post is about why I have decided not to wait.
As some of you already know, I have a pelvic disease called Endometriosis. This disease causes excruciating pain during menstruation and can lead to infertility. Because of this diagnosis, I have spent many years in fear of never being able to have children. When Jordan and I started dating we talked about the possibility that I would not be able to bear children. We decided to trust God, but this didn't completely stop my worrying.
When we decided to start trying to conceive, I was told not to have high expectations. I was told it can take many women a very long time to conceive. Upon hearing this, I was faced with a decision; I could either hunker down and expect it to take many months to conceive (live in fear), or I could choose hope and faith. I chose the second option. I chose to believe that I would conceive immediately.
I can only credit God for the peace I felt during the time that we were trying. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and hope. As a woman who has an anxiety disorder, this was out of the ordinary, and a precious gift from God.
We conceived the first month that we tried and we are overjoyed.
I am telling you because I am choosing faith.
We could have a miscarriage. Many women do. And I can only imagine how incredibly painful and heartwrenching that experience is. I may have to go back to everyone that I told and tell them some awful news. And it may be awkward. (Although, having the support of all my friends and family during that time is completely worth a little awkwardness to me.)
But I choose fear way too often in my life, and this is not going to be one of those times.
So, we are shouting it from the rooftops! We are believing that I will carry this baby through 9 (really, 10) months of pregnancy and give birth to a beautiful, healthy little boy or girl.
Will you believe with me? Do you feel the same way or do you prefer to wait? I would love to hear your reasoning!