Henley Grows; Two Months

Today Henley turns two months old. As cliche as it sounds, I can't believe how fast time is flying and how quickly she is growing up. It truly feels surreal that two months has passed since that crazy weekend where I (and a team of highly trained medical professionals) brought her into this world. I feel like I have just met her and yet like I have known her my whole life. 

My love for this girl keeps blowing my mind as it grows and grows. 

Although some may argue that babies can't have a personality until they are a bit older, I completely disagree. This girl is a completely unique individual with a lot of personality traits to get to know already. Here are just a few things that Henley loves:

1. Change Table Time

She seriously hates having a wet diaper. Sometimes I forget how much she hates it and I will have no idea why she is so upset, but as soon as I start to carry her towards her nursery she will instantly cheer up. And then when I place her on her change table all is right with the world again. 

2. Mirrors 

I don't think babies know how to be vain so I think this one is just very normal for her developmental stage. Her baby swing has a mirror on the mobile hanging above it and her play-mat also has a mirror hanging for her to look into. She also has this book, which has a mirror on the front that she loves. 

3. Butt Pats 

Nothing calms this girl down more than butt pats and if she is tired this will send her right off to dreamland. We truly pat her to sleep every time she naps. 

4. Music

Henley will give me such a big smile and stare at me when I sing. I hold her during worship practice sometimes and she just loves it. Her dad and I also basically sing everything that we ever say to her. Something about babies brings out the inner musical star in all of us. 

5. Mommy and Daddy

This one is probably very obvious but I think it deserves to be mentioned. Nothing makes her smile more than when her dad or I smile at her and talk to her in a happy voice. And nothing makes us smile more than her smiling at us. It's a perfect exchange. 

As far as sleeping goes, Henley doesn't sleep too well yet. She usually wakes up every two hours all night long. There have been a couple nights where she has slept a little longer but not much. She usually sleeps in our bed with us (controversial I know, but this is what we decided to do) but she does sleep in her bassinet quite a bit too. We are trying to get her to sleep in it more but it is tricky as babies do love to be close to their mama and night feedings sure are easier for me. One thing that has helped her stay asleep longer is this swaddle/sleep sack.

As far as eating goes, Henley eats about 50/50 breast milk and formula. There are a lot of reasons why she eats this way but I will be writing a post all about that in the future so stay tuned.









We love this girl so much and we love watching her grow so much every day. Stay tuned to my blog for monthly updates as Henley Grows.

My Birth Story; Introducing Henley Esther Brown

It is so hard to believe that my baby just turned 2 months old. I never expected to take such a long hiatus from this blog at the end of my pregnancy but pregnancy and labour are unlike anything I could have ever expected. It has taken me this long to be ready to talk about that weekend, but here we go.

On April 9th (the day before my due date), at 5:30 am I woke up with cramps. They felt very similar to Braxton Hicks contractions that I had been having for months, except my lower back was also hurting a lot. Remembering what my doula had told me, I got into the bathtub to see if they would go away (a hot bath will usually get rid of Braxton Hicks contractions, which is a good way to see if your contractions are real or not).

They did not go away.

They got more and more intense. Until this point, I hadn't woken up Jordan but I couldn't hold off anymore. I called him into the bathroom and he sat with me for a few hours while I worked through these contractions that were about 3 minutes apart. I was texting my doula about my symptoms and she was advising me to stay at home and wait it out. I did so until about 9:00 am. At that time my midwife came and checked to see if I was dilated at all. I was 4 cm and she told me I could stay at home longer or I could head to the hospital now. The pain was quite excruciating so I opted to head to the hospital where there were some options for pain management.

Once I was at the hospital I tried a few different pain management strategies, wanting to have a natural birth with no epidural. I got in a hot shower, tried laughing gas, and tried all sorts of breathing techniques. I was having back labor and it became too much for me. At this point, I had been in labor for about 10 hours, was about 7-8 cm dilated, and I asked for an epidural. It took a few hours to get the epidural as the midwife was struggling to get an IV started in between my contractions, which were only about 40-60 seconds apart.

Once I finally received the epidural, it had to be done twice to be successful, but let me tell you, it was GLORIOUS. It did not remove my pain entirely but it dulled it to the point that I could fall asleep. I slept for a few hours.

At 11:00 pm, 16 hours into labor, I was 10 cm dilated and ready to push. And push I did. For 3 hours. It was the most excruciating thing I have ever experienced and I hope you never have to experience back labor. After 3 hours I was at the end of myself. I had thrown up so many times and I could not handle the pain any longer. My midwife called a doctor in to check me. My baby was very crooked and the doctor said that it would never come out this way. She tried to flip the baby manually but it would not work. At this point, I was told I would need a C-section. Once I signed the consent forms they wheeled me away. 

They made my husband wait outside the OR so they could prep me. While they were prepping me we discovered that my epidural was not working properly and I still had too much feeling in my lower body. They pushed more medication, I threw up, but it was not working. The anesthesiologist told me I would need to be put to sleep. I was also told nobody could join me in the OR since I was going under. I was hysterical. I started crying and asking questions but there wasn't time. 

They threw a mask on my face and told me to think happy thoughts to I could have good dreams...and I was out. 

2 hours later I woke up in recovery. I was once again hysterical as my anesthesia wore off. A few nurses told me everything was okay but they didn't know anything about the procedure because they were not in the room for it. 

All they knew was...it was a GIRL! 

I cried and asked repeatedly when I could go meet my baby. They kept telling me "soon". They told me my baby was with my husband and they had been doing 'skin to skin' for 2 hours. Another nurse came and told me that my baby had been born unresponsive...not breathing. They had done CPR and after 5 minutes my baby was breathing on her own and completely healthy. I was so completely overwhelmed but all I could think was "just take me to her". And they did. 

They wheeled my bed back to our room where my baby was with Jordan. As I rolled in I saw her head, covered in thick dark hair. They immediately placed her on my chest and I was completely overcome. 

She was born at 2:27 am on April 10th (her due date), weighing 8 lbs 6 oz. We stayed in the hospital for 3 days while I recovered and we fell madly in love with this daughter of ours. 

My labor was nothing like I wanted or expected and there was a lot of emotions and trauma for me to work through in the weeks to come. I am still working through it now. I do plan to write and share about that in a later post. But my girl is here and she is safe, and I love her more than I could say. 

Meet my daughter; 

Henley Esther Brown

Dear Baby; Week Twenty Seven

Dear Baby,

I feel like an elephant. I have such a hard time bending over to tie my shoes and trying to get comfortable at any given time. You are getting so big. It is hard to imagine that my belly is going to keep getting bigger, but it is true!

You are obsessed with my right side ribs. Seriously. You never stop kicking and squirming against my rib cage. It is the strangest and coolest feeling ever. I keep worrying that you are going to break one of my ribs when you get a little stronger. When I was a baby in my mommy's belly I fractured one of her ribs by kicking her, and she still loves me. So don't worry, if you do any damage I will still love you with all of my heart! So you keep practicing those big kicks and punches and whatever you need to do to keep busy in there. We only have 3 months to go!

I am keeping busy by making you a blanket. I haven't made anything like it before, but I know how to crochet a bit and decided to make you something. It is actually looking so good! I really hope you like it!

I am also keeping busy by making some freezer meals to have when you take up all of my energy and time and I don't feel like cooking for a while. Our freezer is stockpiled and I am going to be ready to give you my full attention and love!

We bought a little dresser/change table, and a rocking chair for your nursery last week. Your room is really looking like a nursery now. When I go in there I can easily imagine you smiling up at me from your crib. And when I sit in the rocking chair I can easily imagine holding you there in the wee hours of the night as I fight to keep my eyes open and try to get you to close yours.

Your daddy is getting so excited to meet you. He keeps saying that he is just so ready to hold you in his arms. I can't wait for you to know the love of a father. It is something I missed out on when I was a child and I praise God all the time that you are going to have a daddy who adores you.

We keep trying to guess what you are going to be like. Girl or boy, shy or outgoing, artistic or sporty, or both, tall or short, curvy like me or thin like your dad. We love guessing but we know you will completely surprise us. There is no way we could guess all that you will be. What is cool is that God knows, completely. He has you all planned out! I can't wait to see what kind of incredible masterpiece He has created in you.

Hold tight baby.

Love, Mommy.