Dear Baby; Week Seven

Dear Baby,

I don't even know where to start. I wish you had ears and could hear all the things your dad and I whisper to you. You will have ears soon. The moment I found out that you exist was the happiest moment of my life. I have always wanted you.

To be honest, baby, these first 7 weeks with you have been very difficult. I wish you didn't make me so sick. I haven't had even one hour without nausea in weeks. I have had cramps way more often than I feel comfortable with. I have been exhausted and have had to quit my job earlier than I ever planned. I have been pretty depressed and I really don't like eating anymore. But you know what, baby? It is all worth it. You are worth it all.

Most of the time, the nausea is the only thing that makes me feel pregnant. If I wasn't sick I don't know if I would believe it. You are only the size of a blueberry. A blueberry! That is TINY. I have never loved something so small so much.

I am using an app on my phone that gives me daily updates on your progress. Yesterday it showed me a picture of your face (well, not your face, but what your face looks like, approximately) and you straight up look like a little snake alien. But I love it. Every little glimpse that I get into your growth amazes me.

So far, I think you are a boy. I have no way to know that, and we don't plan on finding out until you are born, but that is just the feeling I have.

My very favourite thing about this pregnancy, so far, is when daddy talks to you. We know you can't hear us, so it's mostly for us, but we just love you so much we are bursting at the seams.

We are praying for you so much. We want you to be so healthy, so strong, and we want you to know how much Jesus loves you.

I can't wait to meet you. You are so so loved.

Hold tight, baby.

Love, Mommy.

What I Make When I Don't Want To Eat Breakfast; Juice Recipe

As most of you already know, I am 6 weeks pregnant! One of the main symptoms I am experiencing is a serious lack of interest in food. I am definitely struggling to eat enough each day. This is incredibly abnormal for me as I am in a serious, committed, love relationship with food. 

The hardest part of the day for me to force myself to eat is in the morning. I just can't even imagine putting anything into my body. But, to my rescue, I always feel the need to drink juice in the morning. So lately, when I just cant eat anything, I make a juice! 

My husband and I bought a juicer when we got married and I love it! It is easy to use and fresh juice is unbeatable! This is the juicer we use:

I am sure there are at least a few of you that can relate to my experience. My husband, Jordan, hates eating breakfast but happily drinks juice! SO, I am going to share with you my favourite juice recipe! It is very easy and tastes delicious! 

The first thing I do is grab some fruit and veggies from my fridge. Carrots, Apples, and Lemon. Usually I stick with these 3, but if I have something else that needs to be used up I will throw it in. In this case it was half of a cucumber. 

I take these veggies, clean them up a bit, and chop them if necessary. In this case, I needed to peel the lemon, wash the carrots, and slice the apple. And voila! 

I throw all of these components into my juicer and out comes a wonderful treat! I have some friends with a big garden so I like to give the leftover pulp (pictured on the left) to them for their compost! 

This juice is super refreshing, a little sour, and very filling. One thing I have learned with juicing is that you can totally experiment with different ingredients. For instance, if I had some kale I probably would have thrown it in. It adds a little bitterness, but it is offset by the lemons and apple. Whatever you think might taste good, just throw it in! 

Are you already a fan of juicing? What is your favourite recipe? If not, will you give this recipe a try? Let me know what you think!

Why I Am Not Waiting 3 Months To Tell You I Am Pregnant

Recently I announced that my husband and I are expecting our first child. I shared this news on my blog here if you haven't read it. In that post, I promised that I would write a follow-up post explaining why I didn't wait longer to announce it. So, here it is!

I am currently 5 and a half weeks pregnant. My baby is only the size of a chocolate chip at the moment and doesn't have a heartbeat yet. I am right in the middle of the risky weeks of pregnancy, where a lot of women will miscarry their child. Because of this possibility, many women will wait until they are out of their first trimester before they will announce their pregnancy to the world. 

Please hear me, I am not saying that it is wrong to wait that long. If you have decided to wait until you are past the risky weeks, I support you in your decision! This post is about why I have decided not to wait. 

As some of you already know, I have a pelvic disease called Endometriosis. This disease causes excruciating pain during menstruation and can lead to infertility. Because of this diagnosis, I have spent many years in fear of never being able to have children. When Jordan and I started dating we talked about the possibility that I would not be able to bear children. We decided to trust God, but this didn't completely stop my worrying. 

When we decided to start trying to conceive, I was told not to have high expectations. I was told it can take many women a very long time to conceive. Upon hearing this, I was faced with a decision; I could either hunker down and expect it to take many months to conceive (live in fear), or I could choose hope and faith. I chose the second option. I chose to believe that I would conceive immediately. 

I can only credit God for the peace I felt during the time that we were trying. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and hope. As a woman who has an anxiety disorder, this was out of the ordinary, and a precious gift from God. 

We conceived the first month that we tried and we are overjoyed. 

I am telling you because I am choosing faith. 

We could have a miscarriage. Many women do. And I can only imagine how incredibly painful and heartwrenching that experience is. I may have to go back to everyone that I told and tell them some awful news. And it may be awkward. (Although, having the support of all my friends and family during that time is completely worth a little awkwardness to me.)

But I choose fear way too often in my life, and this is not going to be one of those times. 

So, we are shouting it from the rooftops! We are believing that I will carry this baby through 9 (really, 10) months of pregnancy and give birth to a beautiful, healthy little boy or girl. 

Will you believe with me? Do you feel the same way or do you prefer to wait? I would love to hear your reasoning! 

When Two Becomes Three

On July 1st my husband Jordan and I decided to start trying to conceive! I can't even tell you how incredible the moment was when we made that decision. Being a mother is something I have wanted my entire life. We decided, we cried together, and then we tried. A lot. ;) 

On Aug 1st we found out that we are expecting our first child! I am so happy to announce this to the world as this is one of the happiest times of my entire life. (I will soon be writing a post about why I am not waiting to announce it). 

The actual process of finding out was a total gong show. The first two tests I took (not pictured here) were negative. I had taken them both quite early so there was still a chance. Once I missed my period I took another two that you can see on the bottom below. Both of them BARELY showed the second line. I was hopeful but not convinced. So we decided to splurge for the $20 digital test and after 3 agonizing minutes of waiting we saw the YES+. It was probably the happiest moment of my life, so far. 

All that to say, I highly recommend that, if you think you are pregnant, splurge for the expensive digital test because when you see that YES+ there is really no debating/doubting it. 

My baby is due to arrive in April of 2017. The last few weeks have been kinda crazy. A lot is going on in our lives and getting pregnant is only a part of it! I am keeping this announcement post short, but I will be following up with a lot more details on what is going on in the Brown household. 

Jordan and I are incredibly happy and so so excited for this journey together. I feel so deeply blessed to have been able to conceive so quickly. I know this is not always the case for a lot of women. I am thanking the Lord and praying diligently over this little one and I trust God to do the knitting that only He can do! 

Here is a picture of me looking like a total wreck a few minutes after we found out. (Believe me, those are VERY happy tears). 

Has anyone else taken an obscene amount of tests because they just can't believe it? What was it like when you found out?